Lancaster Grand

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Current Shows (15)

Chris Ramsey - Is that Chris Ramsey?

Wednesday 1st March at 7:30pm

A brand new stand up show for 2017 from the comedian you've seen on The Royal Variety Performance, Celebrity Juice, Hebburn, Live At The Apollo and various newspapers when he was wrongly arrested in a hotel in his underpants. 

 

Is that Chris Ramsey? Yes it is. On his biggest UK tour yet. Get tickets while you can. 

Tickets: £20

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SOLD OUT - Menopause - the Musical

Tuesday 7th March at 7:30pm

Starring Cheryl Fergison (EastEnders), Maureen Nolan (The Nolans), Rebecca
Wheatley (Casualty) and Ruth Berkeley (Penny Dreadful) Menopause the Musical is
heading out on another UK wide tour. This hysterical show packed full of one-liners
about night sweats, hot flushes and memory loss is backed by an instantly
recognisable soundtrack of innuendo-laden versions of 60s, 70s and 80s pop classics.
An all-singing, all-dancing comedy set in a department store, where four women
with seemingly nothing in common, meet by chance and make fun of their woeful
lives experiencing “The Change”. They soon bond as they realise that the menopause
is no longer “The Silent Passage”, but an unavoidable stage in every woman’s life.
The hysterical and uplifting Menopause The Musical will have you laughing, and
singing, all the way home.
The show has played sold out-out tours across the world so call your girlfriends and
book now for the ultimate girls night out.
Join us on Facebook at “Menopause The Musical Uk Tour'
Sponsored by Promensil Menopause
Age advisory 16+

Tickets: £23

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Richard Herring

Saturday 11th March at 7:30pm

Richard Herring, King of the Edinburgh Fringe, Metro columnist and the UK's Podfather (RHLSTP, AIOTM) picks his favourite routines from his 12 one-man shows and crams them into 90 minutes for your delectation. From his deconstruction of the genealogy of Christ to him proving that racists are less racist than liberals, via some of the best knob jokes in the business. Will your favourite routine make the cut? A great introduction to this influential cult comedian for the newcomer and a welcome greatest hits for long term fans.  ("a gloriously infantile delight in mischief, provocation and inspired rudeness” The Guardian)

Tickets: £15

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SOLD OUT - Stewart Lee : Content Provider

Presented by David Johnson & John Mackay in association with DAA Management

Wednesday 15th March at 7:30pm

After four years writing and performing his TV show Stewart Lee’s
Comedy Vehicle, Content Provider is Stewart’s first brand new full-
length show since the award-winning Carpet Remnant World.

“The most consistently funny show of his brilliant career … I laughed till it hurt.” The Times ★★★★★ 

“Characteristically twisty and frequently brilliant” The Guardian ★★★★  

“Venomously funny”  Standard ★★★★ 

"Two marvellous misanthropic hours... there's no-one else to touch him" Mail on Sunday ★★★★★ 

“The delusional ravings of a man who has lost his way in the world”  Mail on Sunday ★★★★★ 

 
Age guidance: 16+

Tickets: £23

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SOLD OUT - HENNING WEHN - WEST PHALIA IS NOT AN OPTION

Friday 17th March at 8pm

Join German Comedy Ambassador Henning Wehn for an evening of Teutonic jolliness at its best. After his last show tackled those well-known staples of light entertainment that are the British obsession with home ownership and the self-serving nature of most fundraising efforts, this time Henning’s having an unbiased look at immigration. He also wonders, if, generally speaking, people are competent. Luckily in his case this doesn’t matter as either he’s funny or he lives up to a national stereotype. It’s a win-win situation. Come along. Or else.

QUOTES

“Very entertaining and very accessible” The Scotsman 

“Forget about the Euro, Henning hits the Mark” Nottingham Post

“His accent is not so much German as indescribable” Daily Mail

Henning’s latest TV appearances include presenting An Immigrant's Guide To Britain (Channel 4), Have I Got News For You (BBC1), Live At The Apollo (BBC2), Would I Lie To You (BBC1), Bake Off - Extra Slice (BBC2), The Road To Rio co-presented with Mark Watson (six part series for Dave and 70+ territories worldwide), various 8 Out Of 10 Cats & 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown (Channel 4), Room 101 (BBC1), Newsnight (BBC2), This Week (BBC1), Backchat (BBC3), QI (BBC2) and Dave’s One Night Stand (Dave, unsurprisingly).  On radio he recently presented Wall In The Head (BBC World Service) and This Is Me, Totally Sausage (BBC Radio 4) and can be heard regularly on Fighting Talk (BBC Five Live) and The Unbelievable Truth (BBC Radio 4).

 

www.henningwehn.de

Tickets: £17.50

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Andrew Newton - world Famous Hypnotist

Saturday 18th March at 7:30pm

“If you think it’s all about getting people to run round like chickens, think again! Newton offers fascinating insights into the mind, punctuated by spells of side-splitting laughter… Andrew Newton has a love of the absurd – his mischievous performance makes this a show not to be missed."

Sydney Morning Herald, May 2016

Tickets: £14 / £9 conc, students/ £5 child / Family £35

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John Shuttleworth - My Last Will and Taasty Mint

Wednesday 22nd March at 8pm

John Shuttleworth hits the road following appearances on Celebrity Antiques Roadshow and the second series of Radio 4's John Shuttleworth’s Lounge Music for his farewell tour.

A recent health scare (well, a mild bout of sciatica) has made “Sheffield’s finest singer/songwriter” (The Times) focus on his mortality, and the many things he needs to do before the inevitable move into a hospice. Can sole agent, Ken Worthington pull out the stops and make John a star before his retirement? As befits a man living on borrowed time – John considers Life’s major issues: the rise in popularity of hi viz protective wear, the suitability of the plastic lid on takeaway coffee cups, and the excitement he felt when sucking his first mint: “It gave my tongue activity, as the mint’s flavours bore into me, turning my grey world azure blue – I remember my first Polo, do you?”

As well as hilarious new songs, John will bash out the favourites on his trusty Yamaha: “Two Margarines”, “I Can’t Go Back To Savoury Now”, “Mutiny Over The Bounty”, “Y Reg” plus many more. And at the end of it all, a question remains: who should John donate his organs to, or should he just sell them on Ebay?

“Punch The Air To Character Comedy In A Class Of Its Own” The Sunday Times

Tickets: £16/£14 conc

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Danny Baker - Cradle to the Stage

Thursday 23rd March at 7:30pm

The stage has always been my first love. Let me put that another way. I have never done anything like this before in my life. However, to travel from town to town addressing a fabulous gathering of like-minded chums each night seems to me exactly what Shakespeare would have done had not the hefty rent at The Globe kept him in London. As a consequence, William Shakespeare toured about as frequently as Kate Bush. Well not me. I own very few theatres anymore and so I am now totally free to charge about here and there wowing the folks with my anecdotal back catalogue, games involving sausages and impressive six octave range. 

No two nights of this extravaganza will be the same. This is less of a boast than admission that a) I am hopeless at learning scripts and b) I still have no idea what I am going to include. Perhaps you can help?  If you’ve read my books, watched the series based on them or, indeed, ever caught anything I have presented on television/radio then maybe you might contribute to the feast of reason and flow of the soul that I guarantee these evenings will contain. Questions like, “Did your friend really eat saveloys from a pith helmet” or “What was meeting John Lennon/Michael Jackson/David Bowie/Kenneth Williams like?” or, I suspect, most popular of all “How comes you’ve made so many rotten TV programs, Dan?” 

I will of course arrive in front of you going off like a Cacophonous Catherine Wheel of Chat, armed with hundreds of tall tales to tell many complete with proof from my family picture album to stop you thinking I am simply raving. I’ve been at this showman racket a full 40 years now my friends – there is truly much to discuss and plenty to be held to account for. 

A night at the theatre can either be deep dish or high kicking. What I promise to haul before you is very much in the latter category. Content wise I will make Springsteen and Dodd look like short changing slackers. I can’t wait. This is the sort of radio I’ve always wanted to do, ie, radio without radio. Just me and you. 

In fact, if you don’t show up I’m going to do it in your local theatre anyway. So you may as well come. Why should the ushers have all the fun? 

So, in short, roll up, pile in and hang onto your hats. I am back where I belong. On the stage! Shove over Tommy Steele – there’s a new sheriff in town! 

See you there.

Age recommended 14+

Tickets: £20 / £18 conc

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Beauty and the Beast - an Easter Pantomime

starring Basil Brush, Keith Chegwin and Steve Ritchie

Monday 3rd April at 3pm and 7pm

Belle lives a quiet provincial life in the village of Ooh La La… until an Evil Enchantress arrives in town. Belle’s father accidentally stumbles across a terrifying Beast and his daughter is taken captive… Now it is up to Jolly King Cheggers, the village idiot Wally, Dame Dolly Doolittle and the mysterious Fairy Tale to save the day and unlock the Beast’s magical secret.

 Starring Keith Chegwin as the Jolly King, Basil Brush as the Beast’s hilarious sidekick and further celebrity casting yet to be announced and supported by a full professional cast, live musicians and local juvenile dancers… prepare yourself for an all-singing, all-dancing, laugh a minute ride through the fun and frolics of panto land - arriving Easter 2017!

Tickets: £14/£13/Family£48

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Al Murray - The Pub Landlord - Let's Go Backward Together

Wednesday 10th May at 7:30pm

Publican. Politician. Other thing beginning with P. Philosopher, yeah, that. The nation’s critically acclaimed bar-based-braveheart, Al Murray - The Pub Landlord embarks on a common sense campaign to re-Great Britain. 

We live in troubling times. Europe. The NHS. Whatever the hell is going on in the Middle East. The gathering storm of fortnightly bin collections? Who knows where it will all end? 

Watch the one man who will answer the call of destiny even though it’s an unlisted number. Watch the one man who will call time on tyranny even though he isn’t quite sure what it means. Watch the one man who isn’t afraid to say no to women ordering anything other than a glass of white wine (or fruit based drink).   

“A supremely polished performer”  ★ ★ ★ ★ Mail on Sunday  

“Al Murray's comedy creation is at his best in these confusing political times” ★ ★ ★ ★ Evening Standard  

thepublandlord.com 

www.facebook.com/thepublandlord

 

https://twitter.com/almurray

Tickets: £27.50

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ANDY PARSONS - PEAK BULLSH*T

Friday 12th May at 8pm

“Cracking adlibbing….a joke-rich rallying call for a better Britain” THE GUARDIAN 

“Potent live performer…..can nail a nonsense with beautiful economy of words” THE TIMES 

Worried about your job? Worried about your family? Worried about yourself? Worried about the health service? Education? Climate change? World War 3? Worried about worrying? Sod it! Come and have a laugh about it. It’s one of the things we do best. Or is it? Was it something we did best but like everything else has now gone West. Or South. Or East. Ah - go on. Take a risk. Put on your lucky pants and your party shoes – and get yourself on a night out. Or maybe come out dressed in a binbag, top hat and clogs. We could all use a laugh.

 As seen on Mock the Week, Live at the Apollo, Q.I. etc. - and repeated on Dave.   

Age recommendation: 14

“A consistently strong exposer of bullshit and a plain-speaking truth-teller through his entire career” THE GUARDIAN

“Brilliantly funny and insightful” METRO

Tickets: £15

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The All-Star Stand Up Tour 2017

Monday 22nd May at 7:30pm

The All-Star Stand-Up Tour is back in 2017 with 3 more top comedians alongside returningcompere Jarred Christmas. This years line-up includes Canadian one-liner king and star of Mock The Week & Live At The Apollo Stewart Francis, fromPhoenix Nights and 8 Out Of 10 Cats Justin Moorhouse and the BAFTA award winning Jim Tavare, as seen on The Sketch Show, three Royal Variety Performances and in Harry Potter & The Prisoner Of Azkaban.

For 30 shows in 2017 this team of top comedians will combine forces for a comedy show likenever before. Dont miss The All-Star Stand-Up Tour – the biggest comedy tour of the year.

One of the funniest comedias in the world The Late Late Show (USA) on Stewart FrancisnA brilliant comic brain… this stand-up cracks some of the best one-liners Ive ever heard The Guardian on Stewart Francis

Simultaneously down to earth and out of this world The List on Justin Moorhouse

A modern-day Tommy Cooper… his act is timeless Chortle on Jim Tavare

One of the funniest men to pick up a microphone Time Out on Jarred Christmas

 

Tickets: £22

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Richard Digance - Golden Anniversary

Thursday 15th June at 7:30pm

Join Richard for a celebration of his 50 years of songs and stories that led to a BAFTA Nomination and The British Academy of Composers Gold Award. 31 albums, music for Bill Bryson’s audio book and over 3 million YouTube views prove it was a successful journey. He is supported by acoustic duo The Broadside Boys on their first British tour as they promote their new album Plenty More Fish In The Sea

Tickets: £16/£15 conc

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Jimmy Tarbuck

Tuesday 25th July at 7:30pm

Top television comedian Jimmy Tarbuck swaps The London Palladium for Lancaster

Tarby, as he is known to millions of TV viewers, is one of the country’s most evergreen performers and amaster of light entertainment.
Having successfully spent more than 40 years in the notoriously fickle world of showbusiness, JimmyTarbuck has hosted numerous television shows, variety shows, chat shows and game shows and his cheekygrin and boy-next-door charms have won him fans far away from his native Liverpool.
However, Tarby is at his best in front of a live audience and during his date in Lancaster he will be sharing anecdotes, demonstrating his quickfire wit and thoroughly entertaining the audience in a show which promises comedy for grown-ups rather than adult comedy.
During the entertaining evening, Tarby will be using photos and video footage to take audiences on a nostalgic trip down memory lane with a wealth of hugely funny stories and anecdotes ranging from being at school and in the same class as John Lennon to playing golf with Bing Crosby.
The Liverpool born comic and entertainer was spotted by the late Val Parnell while working as a Butlins Redcoat, and made his TV debut aged 22 on Comedy Bandbox. Soon afterwards he made several guest appearances on Sunday Night Live At The London Palladium for Val Parnell until he became the resident compere in September 1965, aged just 25 years old.
After this fabulous start to his career, Jimmy was soon in great demand headlining top variety shows, and soon his own TV series’ followed. During the 1970s and 80s, Tarby was rarely off the screen as programmes such as The Jimmy Tarbuck Show, Winner Takes All, Tarby And Friends and the Live From … series attracted millions of TV viewers each week.
Following the decline of variety on television, Jimmy is in much demand as one of Britain’s top cabaret artistes and after-dinner speakers, and he regularly hosts many of the top award and business events. He is also a popular TV guest and when he is not entertaining his corporate, television and theatre audiences can be found on the golf course or supporting his beloved Liverpool Football Club.
During his illustrious career, Jimmy Tarbuck has achieved many awards as both an entertainer and a charity fundraiser. He has received the top Variety Club of Great Britain award of Showbusiness Personality of the Year and he has been made an Officer of the Most Venerable Order of the Hospital of St John of Jerusalem for his charity work. He has also been honoured by an hour-long special of This Is Your Life and in 1994, was awarded the OBE for his services to showbusiness and charity. Jimmy is also President of Diabetes UK.
Join stage funnyman Jimmy Tarbuck OBE as he delivers a fantastically funny evening of comedy for grown-ups

Tickets: £23/£21.50 conc

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Dick Whittington

A Lancaster Footlights Production

Weekday evenings at 7.30pm matinees at 2.30pm Christmas Eve 2.30pm Boxing day at 2.30pm

Following on from last year's record breaking perfomance, Lancaster Footlights presents another fabulous and fun-filled  traditional family Pantomime - oh yes it is - with lots of music, dancing, jokes, laughter and audience participation.

Matinees (start at 2.30pm)  2, 3, 9, 10, 16, 23, 24, 26th December

Evenings (start at 7.30pm)  8, 15, 18, 20, 21, 22, 27, 28, 29th December

Sunday 17th Dec. Perfomances at 11am and 3pm

Tickets: £9.50/£8.50 conc family £33, Christmas Eve £10.50/£9.50 conc no family tickets, Boxing day £10.50/£9.50 conc no family tickets

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Past Shows (2)

Your search query matched some shows from the past. These are currently hidden.

A Grand Variety Night

Saturday 18th February at 7:30pm

Lancaster Grand and The Bay Radio presents 'A Grand Variety Night' with proceeds going to the Neil Marshall Memorial Fund.

The people behind the Neil Marshall Memorial Fund are planning 12 months of fundraising events supported by The Bay including a variety night of music and other entertainment at Lancaster Grand Theatre.

The former Lancaster City captain died in November following a two-year battle with cancer. Neil had made 435 appearances for the club over 10 years. Many hundreds from far and wide have already paid tribute to the long-serving Giant Axe captain and Lancaster legend.

Acts include Heather Small, Kenny Thomas, Voce, Josh Taylor, JB School of Dance, Amy Jo Clough, Steven Hall and Marvellous Events. More acts to be announced.

Tickets: £15/£10

This show is in the past.

Seriously Dead

from the people who brought you 'Dirty Dusting'

Friday 24th February at 7:30pm

CRISSY ROCK (Benidorm and I’m A Celebrity)

FRAZER HINES (Emmerdale and Doctor Who)

BILLY PEARCE                       LEAH BELL                     PAUL DUNN

One ordinary day in the quiet little town of Olwinskirk a chain of extraordinary events began to take place bringing the lives of Betty, Albert, Billy and the local undertaker, Tristan de Winter to an uncomfortable crossroads.

Albert Blunderstone has been hiding abroad after having committed a bank robbery with a small time crook called Nodger Wilson. On the day he flies home to attend a funeral, Albert runs into Betty who used to be married to Nodger and in an attempt to find out what happened to his share of the dosh, he befriends Betty and her current husband Billy Blenkinsopp.

The lives of Betty, Albert, Billy and the local undertaker Tristan de Winter become inextricably linked towards a path that is leading to The Pearly Gates and a disgruntled Angel in waiting named Thelma.

A brand new comedy play that will have you dying with laughter!!

Tickets: £21

This show is in the past.

PLEASE NOTE WE DO NOT POST OUT TICKETS

Tickets can be collected from the box office in advance or half an hour before the show.