The Grand Theatre Lancaster

Disney's BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Tuesday 18th - Saturday 22nd June at 7.15pm with a Saturday matinee at 2.15pm

Step into the enchanted world of Broadway's modern classic, Disney's BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. Based on the Academy-Award winning animated feature, the stage version includes all of the original wonderful songs, along with the new songs by Tim Rice.

This "TALE AS OLD AS TIME" features spectacular costumes and scenery - an experience not to be missed by young and old.

Carrie's War

Tuesday 2nd to Friday 5th at 7.30pm Saturday 6th at 2.30pm

Carrie Willow and her young brother Nick are evacuated to Wales. They stay with stern grocer Mr Evans and his kindhearted sister, Lou. Life is very different from what they are used to. When they are sent to Druid’s Bottom to fetch the Christmas Goose from Mr Evan’s sister Mrs Gotobed, they discover a new world of welcome and warmth and it provides a magical refuge to which they return as often as possible.

The house is managed by Hepzibah Green, a kindly self professed witch, assisted by Mr Johnny. Here they meet another evacuee Albert Sandwich. Hepzibah casts spells with stories, including one about a skull and its curse. Dying Mrs Gotobed gives Carrie a message for Mr Evans which has dire consequences.

Did Carrie bring down a curse on those she loved by doing the worst thing in her life? It is only when Carrie returns as an adult that she learns the truth.

C'mon Everybody show

Sunday 7th July at 7:45pm

VOTED NO.1 ROCK ‘n’ ROLL SHOW BY U.K. ROCK MAGAZINE

All the greatest musical stars of the 50’s and 60’s come amazingly alive in this spectacular, vibrant, action packed, non stop, live, rockin’ show

Re-live the best loved hits of Eddie Cochran, Buddy Holly, Brenda Lee, Chuck Berry, Connie Francis, Duane Eddy, Bill Haley and many more

Take a nostalgic trip back in time with us to the greatest era of Rock ‘n’ Roll and enjoy top class tributes performed from the heart by high quality musicians, including the legendary Chris Fender Black

A truly memorable night – IF YOU LOVE ROCK-n-ROLL NOT TO BE MISSED

Joe Longthorne

Thursday 11th July at 7:30pm

This talented artist began his career over three decades ago with appearances on Junior Showtime. Joe’s repertoire of voices is endless and includes hundreds of the World’s top singers, however he is perhaps best known for his impersonation of Shirley Bassey who has commented "Joe can do me better than I can do myself".

During his career, Joe has received gold and platinum discs for his albums, enjoyed sell out concerts at the Royal Albert Hall as well as touring Australia several times.

Now Joe is looking forward to new challenges and new songs too

sing and new audiences to thrill

Elkie Brooks

Friday 12th July at 7:30pm

Quite simply one of the most successful and popular singers the UK has ever produced. Now in the fifth decade of her career, she is stillproving to be one of the most powerful and versatile vocal talents of our generation. With numerous hit singles, million selling albums and awards, her annual tours are a treat for fans old and new.

Performing some of her classic hits, blues, jazz and songs from her new album ‘Powerless’, an electric evening with Elkie is guaranteed to leave you begging for more.

She released her much anticipated autobiography "Finding My voice" in 2012 to much acclaim.

Elkie is a stunning performer and whatever she does, she does it best live.

Don’t miss the chance to see a truly great artist in action.

Voice of the Heart

Sunday 21st July at 7:30pm

This stunning 2 hour show will recreate and celebrate the music of

The Carpenters, the evening is guaranteed to lead Carpenters fans everywhere through a magical memory.

YESTERDAY ONCE MORE, GOODBYE TO LOVE, CLOSE TO YOU, ONLY YESTERDAY all the hits that every Carpenters fan adores. Plus great medleys put together from their many album tracks including songs that link together from The Beatles –MR POSTMAN, TICKET TO RIDE & HELP. A Carpenters country medley with TOP OF THE WORLD, SWEET SWEET SMILE, & JAMBALAYA will be in great contrast to the sad and perhaps most popular songs on her last and most poignant album Voice Of The Heart.

With superb vocals from CAROLE GORDON and outstanding talent from the brilliant BLUE JEANS BAND & SINGERS it will be a “sparkling” night to remember.

Show Website www.voiceoftheheart.co.uk

On FACEBOOK and Twitter@VOHshow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Qxz3ncb3eM&feature=share

The Magic of Opera

Wednesday 4th September at 7:30pm

A gala concert of favourite operatic music, accompanied by a beautiful grand piano. with a selection from Mozart, Puccini, Verdi, Bizet, Gershwin and many more.

www.heritageopera.co.uk

Cissie and Ada - An Hysterical Rectomy

Thursday 5th September to Friday 6th September at 7:30pm

Broadway Theatre and Cutting The Strings present a new comedy play based on Les Dawson's comic TV characters
Cissie and Ada: An Hysterical Rectomy by Graham Warrener

Cissie and Ada, the immortal comic characters created by the late, great, Les Dawson aided and abetted by Roy Barraclough, grace the theatre stage for the first time in this hilarious new play. Written by playwright Graham Warrener in collaboration with original Cissie and Ada scriptwriter Terry Ravenscroft, Cissie and Ada revisits the story and the culture behind the side-splitting sketches and that of BBC Light Entertainment in the 80's as well as bringing Dawson and Barraclough's comedy genius back to life.

Two former Coronation Street favourites Eric Potts (Diggory) and Steven Arnold (Ashley) join Steve Nallon (famous for his Mrs Thatcher impersonation live and on seminal satirical TV show Spitting Image) and actress Natasha Magigi are directed by John Jackson Almond.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/i2p7tezyalkg7qa/FtBg13pJpu

The Real Thing

Saturday 7th September at 7:30pm

Featuring the hits You To Me Are Everything / Can’t Get By Without You / Can You Feel the Force? / Whenever You Want My Love / You'll Never Know What You're Missing

Britain’s No.1 Soul band celebrate an incredible 40 years in the business. The three original vocalists, Chris and Eddie Amoo and Dave Smith perform with their own 5 piece band in a performance that includes all their million selling hits .

THE REAL THING had three million selling hit singles in the 70’s “You To Me Are Everything” “Can’t Get By Without You” and “Feel The Force”.

In the 80’s they were all remixed and became huge hits again, thanks to the band’s massive following.

The Real Thing regularly perform at the Rewind the 80’s Festivals and the Here and Now Festivals working alongside Artistes such as Rick Astley, Boy George and Belinda Carlisle, Kool and the Gang and Chic.

Book your tickets now and make this a night to remember

Grease

Evenings 7.30pm Saturday matinee 2.30pm

Presented through special arrangement with Theatrical Rights Worldwide (TRW) New York

Book,music and lyrics by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey, additional songs by Robert Stigwood.

Nina Conti - Dolly Mixtures

Sunday 15th September at 7:30pm

Star of BBC’s Live at the Apollo, QI, the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and HBO’s Family Tree, groundbreaking ventriloquist and BAFTA nominated filmmaker Nina Conti introduces her daughter, her handyman, her gran, her oldest friend and a stray dog in a show that refuses to go as rehearsed. Expect a thoughtful meditation on love, life and the edge of existence and once you’ve bought your ticket, let that expectation go.

“I laughed until I couldn’t breathe” Melbourne Age

“Put simply, Nina Conti is a genius” Mirror

Russell Howard’s Good News: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4BB1TZcO_o

T: @ninaconti

F: https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Nina-Conti/380262752033194?fref=ts

Jay Diggins -Searching -Album Launch Party

Friday 20th September at 8pm

Jay Diggins is a critically acclaimed singer/songwriter multi-instrumentalist from Scorton, near Garstang, who plays alternative folk/rock music.

He writes gritty songs of a wistful, yearning nature, as if he is slightly possessed. With a reedy voice, distinctive guitar and drum accompaniments, the resultant potent sound has a definitive identity.

Jay’s debut album has been co-produced and contributed on by the legendary record producer John Parish (noted for his work with PJ Harvey, Eels, Tracey Chapman, Giant Sand amongst many others).

Join Jay on this very special occasion his debut Album Launch Party, and see him perform songs with the band on the day his record ‘Searching’ is released, before the show is toured around the country.

Supported by special guests, + Greenheart and Sun Giant

http://www.jaydiggins.com/

http://www.jaydiggins.com/jay_diggins_002.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B0FPKvY1iY&feature=youtu.be

http://www.lancasterguardian.co.uk/news/entertainment/two-bands-one-heart-1-5591594

French Can Can

Saturday 21st September at 7:30pm

Following in the footsteps of the world famous Moulin Rouge, Lido de Paris and Follies Bergere, 'French Can Can' is a critically acclaimed stage spectacular that celebrates the elegance of Paris and the high kicking glamour the cities most famous dance routine...The Can Can!

French Can Can recreates the Bohemian world of Toulouse-Lautrec as the perfect backdrop for this lavish musical adventure. Featuring an international cast of beautiful and talented dancers and music hall performers with glittering stage sets and over sixty hand crafted costumes, all played out against the melodies of Offenbach's famous overture that combines with a beautifully romantic Parisian score.

The acclaimed French Can Can dancers perform the breathtaking traditional choreography and dazzling new dance routines created especially for this production.

In true French burlesque tradition the performance delivers style, energy and that certain… "je ne sais quoi", the perfect night of pure indulgence and passion!.

www.French-Can-Can.com

Celebrity Cook-Off Live

Tuesday 24th September at 7:30pm

Celebrity Cook-Off Live is the UK's best live cooking show! Two well known TV celebrity chefs will go head to head live in a competition to win the days best dish. The fully audience interactive show will give some members of the audience a chance to get on stage and cook with some of the UK's best known chefs. The hilariously funny game show format allows for a host of eventful and comical moments, whilst giving you an up close and personal look at learning how to cook some of the best tasting meals. Also each member of the audience will be given a recipe book containing the recipe guides for the show.

Please note all cooking is done on electric and we are mindful that safety of the public and the theatre are paramount

David Johnson and John Mackay present: STEWART LEE

Wednesday 25th September at 8pm

Following the sell-out Carpet Remnant World, the acclaimed writer and comedian presents a mixed stew of unrelated ideas in preparation for his 2014 TV series. See it live so you can begin the backlash ahead of transmission.

"He’s the most exciting comedian in the country, bar none." ****Times

"More bilious than ever"**** Guardian

"Superlative" ***** Metro
"Marvellously funny: mordant, thoughtful and crafted" Observer

"Masterful" **** Daily Telegraph

"...Stewart Lee, about as funny as bubonic plague" The Sun

www.stewartlee.co.uk

Sid's Show!

Saturday 28th September at 2pm

Join Sid Sloane,the popular star from Cbeebies live on stage in a fantastic fun-filled adventure that’ll knock your socks off.

Sid is setting out on a heroic quest to find out where his favourite socks and shoes have to go to - share in the adventure at the bottom of the sea, deep in the jungle or floating in outer space. You’ll meet some funny characters and discover plenty of surprises.

The show is an interactive experience crammed with games, songs, poems and magic.

Perfect for families with children aged 3-7

Reel Rock World Tour

Wednesday 2nd October at 7:30pm

From the world’s best adventure filmmakers, the Reel Rock Tour brings an extraordinary collection of short films to Lancaster. Featuring alpine legends, amazing adventurers and climbing icons (including Britain's own Hazel Findlay), be transported across the globe as they break the boundaries of what is possible in the mountains.

An incredible and inspiring night with great prize giveaways! For more information visit www.reelrock.co.uk.

Jacqui Dankworth and her Musicians

Thursday 3rd October at 7:30pm

Jacqui Dankworth, the imaginative, moving and adventurous vocalist in concert with her stellar group of musicians. Already established as one the country’s leading jazz vocalists, Jacqui’s live concert showcases her unique versatility and effortless mastery of a wide spectrum of genres, drawing on jazz, folk, soul and blues, as well as her acute sensibility as a songwriter and lyricist.

Had I not been sitting about three feet away from the action, I would have suspected some kind of electronic trickery because the arrangement was so complex, the timing so nifty and Ms Dankworth’s vocal control so exquisite"

Dave Gelly, The Observer

"One of our finest singers, regardless of category”

The Sunday Times

“Makes almost any material sound special”

The Guardian

"The most magnificent voice"

Paul O’Grady

Foster and Allen

Monday 7th October at 7:30pm

For over three decades Foster and Allen have been entertaining audiences all over the world and performing all their hits including 'A Bunch Of Thyme', 'Maggie', 'After All These Years', 'Old Flames','I Will Love You All My Life' ...and many more. Foster and Allen's 'Ultimate Collection Tour' of the U.K. comes in the middle of a world tour which takes in Australia, Canada and their home country of Ireland in 2013 and South Africa, New Zealand, the U.S. and the U.K. in 2014.

Foster and Allen's latest album 'The Ultimate Collection' reached the U.K. Top 40 and is their 30th charting album in their amazing career. They release their first ever autobiography 'Foster and Allen - Our Story' in August 2013 through Virgin Books / The Random House Group. They will also have their own TV series 'The Foster and Allen Show' broadcasting from the 30th September - 29th December, 4 nights per week for 13 weeks on Showcase TV, Sky Channel 191 or Freesat 400.

Foster and Allen's music and easy listening sound remains as fresh and exciting as ever and they love entertaining, especially playing to a live audience.

For further information check out. www.fosterandallen.ie

Girl's Night Out

Tuesday 15th October to Saturday 19th October at 7:30pm

The story revolves around a hen night, with the bride to be heavily pregnant. Secrets start to emerge which will affect them all.

A group of male strippers are getting ready for their act, but with two new members, rehearsals are not going too well. Also the new members have not told their families what they are doing over the summer!

When they are well through their routine and have almost revealed everything, one of the guys is recognised by his girl friend and the worlds of hen night and strippers collide……!

Back to Broadway

Sunday 20th October at 7:30pm

Back to Broadway is a show that is a celebration of all that is best about Musical Theatre, from the heartbreaking beauty and power of Memory, Music of the Night and Don’t Cry for Me Argentina, to the feel good energy of Summer Nights and Footloose.

Let this mesmerising show take you through the world of musicals, its drama, its beauty and its sheer joy. In Back to Broadway, 30 of the best loved tunes from Cats, Phantom of the Opera, Chicago, Les Miserables, Grease, Lion King, West Side Story and many, many more are performed live on stage by some of the best singers and dancers working today. Each song is interwoven by a narrator who gives the audience just a little of the history and plotline of each musical, allowing you to step straight in to the story.

Proclaimed as ‘one of the top 25 touring Musical Theatre productions to see’ by Musical Theatre News, Back to Broadway has brought together eight of the country's most exciting singers and dancers from a host of leading touring Musicals, to perform a feel-good show the whole family can enjoy.

Back to Broadway combines captivating performances with dazzling costumes, stunning lighting effects and an amazing New York setting as it brings the best of Broadway and London's West End together.

Aliens Love Underpants

Tuesday 22nd at 1.30pm Wednesday 23rd at 10.30am and 1.30pm

Aliens love underpants in every shape and size but there are no underpants in space, so here's a big surprise... you thought they came to Earth to try to take over the planet - but no, they simply want to steal your pants.

Come and meet the cast and Aliens from the show! You may nominate one 20 minute slot between the two performances for a cast meet-and-greet (where time allows)

Come dressed up as your favourite alien from the book or just make one up!

Gyles Brandreth - Looking For Happiness

Saturday 26th October at 7:30pm

When Gyles Brandreth set out to find the secret of "How to be Happy" he started in Las Vegas and ended up in the psychiatrist's chair. What he discovered about who gets to be happy and how, plus other useful lessons picked up along the way from Frank Sinatra, Frankie Howerd, and The Queen among others, provide the essence of a unique one-man show that should make you laugh and could change your life.

Award-winning raconteur, Just A Minute regular and One Show reporter Gyles has recently appeared on QI, Countdown, The Matt Lucas Awards, Have I Got News For You, Countdown and Desert Island Discs.

‘Urbane, witty prince among charmers. Joy. Deep deep joy.’ ***** (Scotsman)

‘A must-see show … a stand-alone comic.’ ***** (Ed Fest Magazine)

‘Incredibly funny, wildly indiscreet.’ (Daily Mail)

‘Gyles Brandreth has a serious talent for making people laugh.’ (Daily Mirror)

www.gylesbrandreth.net www.oscarwildemurdermysteries.com

Hazel O Connor - Breaking Glass Live/ Greatest Hits Tour

Tuesday 29th October at 7:30pm

“ It's all there, that voice, soaring sax, layered drums and textured guitar riffs...timeless...”

Glastonbury Festival

In this special show, award winning singer-songwriter Hazel O'Connor and band are back with their hugely popular iconic film in addition to subsequent chart singles live. Melding Hazel's superb vocals with guitar, bass, drums and featuring celebrated saxophonist Clare Hirst (and the wonderful Sarah Fisher (Hazel O'Connor with her sultry vocals is no stranger to the live scene. Striding into the spotlight, with her lead role in Dodi Fayed's cult movie iconic figure as well as a BAFTA nominated actress. There were hits and eye-catching TPops Brother, Monsters in Disguise, Calls The Tune, If Only, Give Me An Inch , Blackman, Hanging Around

Breaking Glass Live/ Greatest Hits show. Catch all the hits and songs from theBellestars, Communards, Bowie )Eurythmics)on keyboards. Unmissable!Breaking Glass in 1980, Hazel immediately became anop of Theappearances aplenty along the way. Hazel's ageless songs include Eighth Day, Will You, Bigand That's Life, all of which seem even more relevant in our present times.
The year was 1980. The UK slid into recession and inflation stood at 18 per cent. Amid the doom and gloom - a film that captured the era precisely and made an unknown singer-songwriter from Coventry into a star.

Andy Bevan - Central Television (ITV)

www.hazeloconnorofficial.com

Plus Support

Rat Pack Vegas Spectacular Show

Wednesday 30th October at 7:30pm

Purveyors of Cool swing into town with
The Greatest Music of the 20th Century

Wonderful memories - totally live show - successful worldwide
Frank Sinatra - Dean Martin - Sammy Davis

Every song a classic - Come Fly with Me, Volare,
That’s Amore, Under My Skin, Mr Bojangles,
Mack The Knife, and many more of your favourites.

The BBC summed it up in one word
MAGNIFICENT!

www.ratpack.biz

Cirque Du Hilarious

Thursday 31st October at 2:30pm

Fresh from their 8-week sell-out pantomime in Newcastle Theatre Royal, where they have wowed audiences for the past seven years, CLIVE WEBB and DANNY ADAMS are ready to hit the road with “Cirque Du Hilarious - Daredevils & Clowns”, their new show for 2013.

Dubbed “The Superstars of Slapstick”, father and son Clive and Danny’s particular brand of lunacy runs throughout the show, causing chaos on stage and screams of laughter from all the family. With a full supporting cast, of dancers, singers & brilliant Circus acts, Circus Hilarious is like no other Circus.

Described by What's On Stage, “The multi-talented duo’s mixture of slapstick, magic and humour had the audience in the palm of their hands from the moment they took to the stage” and the Express & Star wrote, “Hilarious by name – hilarious by nature - the audience participation …. literally had tears rolling down my face”.

Russell Kane - Smallness

Saturday 2nd November at 8pm

What is it with us and smallness? We Brits love it - being tiny but fierce, close but distant. This Jedward-haired award-winning twat is the same, and he returns with a new blisteringly big-small show. Watch him ejaculate thoughts about smallness; on keeping things small when life gets big.

‘A seriously good comedian.’ The Times

‘Russell Kane delivers magic in spades.’ The Scotsman

‘A smart, probing brain lurks below the vertiginous quiff’ The Evening Standard

www.russellkane.co.uk

www.facebook.com/officialrussellkane

Twitter: @russell_kane

Stephen K. Amos is the Spokesman

Sunday 3rd November at 8pm

Fresh from the Edinburgh Festival, Amos is hitting the road with a brand new show for 2013 and sharing with the UK the show which has been a smash hit success across Australia and New Zealand!

Expect an evening of fun, warmth, big laughs and audience interaction from the master of feel-good comedy.

Live At The Apollo (BBC1), Have I Got News For You (BBC 1), Life: An Idiots Guide (Radio 4)

Listen out for Series 3 of Life: An Idiot’s Guide – Coming to Radio 4 soon!

"The warmest comic around, able to riff off a crowd and make them feel good about themselves.." The Sunday Times

"It was all fabulous. But it was when riffing with the audience that Amos truly excelled. With a packed venue ready on his side, Amos drew people into his routines; his finely honed sensibility turned innocent remarks into comedy gold" – Herald Sun

“If laughter is the best medicine, then Amos should be prescribed by the NHS for his formidable healing powers.” – London Evening Standard.

Chubby Brown

Friday 8th November at 7:30pm

Roy Chubby Brown returns with his bluest show yet!

He’s still rude, he’s still crude and this time he’s turning headlines into punch lines as his rip-roaring brand of banter continues to burst bellies across the country. Chubby doesn’t hold back from sharing his outlandish views on news, women and gender, sailing so close to the mark, even the most seasoned of fans will be left gob-smacked!

As politically incorrect as ever ‘The World’s Most Outrageous Comedian’ is far too rude for TV, so this live performance is the only place to catch the
flamboyant comedian! If easily offended please stay away!

Jethro

Monday 11th November at 7:30pm

Laughter not only provides a full-scale workout for your muscles, it unleashes a rush of stress-busting endorphins which strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain and protect you from the damaging effects of stress.

Always slightly on the edge, Jethro’s fruity Cornish humor is the perfect remedy to cheer us all, turning everyday events into farcical stories, embellished into hilarity with his trademark west country dialect. Tales told with such effortless rhythm, timing and charm that it just melts all seriousness into pure laughter. The perfect anecdote to everyone’s day. Contains adult humor. Ages 15+.

Fascinating Aida

Thursday 14th November at 7:30pm

Following a sold-out 2012 tour, three Olivier Award nominations and over 10 million YouTube hits for Cheap Flights (their infamous anthem to budget air travel), Dillie Keane, Adele Anderson and Liza Pulman celebrate 30 years of Fascinating Aïda with a brand new show.

Expect topical new songs hot off the press, plus some outrageous old favourites, as Fascinating Aïda continue to grow old disgracefully!

'Cabaret Heaven.’ Metro

'Outrageous... seductive.' The Guardian

'I can’t recommend this show highly enough.’ Mail on Sunday

'Hilarious' Telegraph

'The glamour is magnetic, the satire razor-sharp, the lyrics brilliant...intensely poignant' The Guardian

'See them before you die otherwise your life will have been meaningless' Mail on Sunday

'Engages the brain as well as the funny-bone.' The Times

Lee Nelson

Friday 15th November at 7:30pm

I’ve hosted Live at the Apollo, sold out my three-times extended Lee Nelson Live tour, had over two million people watching BBC Three’s Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show and Lee Nelson’s Well Funny People, and now cos of massive demand I’ve added a load of extra dates.

So get yourselves along to my brand new show for a night of qualiteeee jokes, games and banter. Everyone’s welcome. Plus I’ll be bringing Premier League Footballer Jason Bent and a few other well funny people.

Go on, it’s not like there’s anything else to do in Lancaster!!!

Lee Nelson brings a brand new stand-up show for 2013 to venues nationwide. Strap yourself in for a night of unmissable entertainment with the irrepressible Nelson, who’ll be presenting his unique take on the world including his legendary audience interaction, a game show finale and special guest appearances from premier league footballer Jason Bent and others.